Happy New Year - 2012

Another year is just about a wrap. It's been one of the most tumultuous years of my life. But I'm here and still kicking. In case I don't get back this way before midnight tonight, Happy New Year Everybody!!!! Love you all!!!

Why Beautiful Women Gravitate Toward Rotten Dudes?

I guess this is similar to women asking why men cheat. They cheat because someone is willing to go there with them. Every one sees life in their own way on their own terms. My reality isn't your reality. We engage in many of these detrimental behaviors because rotten can't always be seen from the outside (fruit for example). Physical attributes are the first thing that draw us towards someone. It's not until layers start to be removed and truths start to be shared that we realize we've walked into an intricate labyrinth and finding our way out is a lot harder than finding our way in.



****this was the answer I gave recently in a group I'm a member of on Facebook. What are some reasons you can think of?****

Simplifying Christmas: How One Family Scaled Down - and Got Inspired

My mother grew up poor. Poor-poor. As in: anonymous basket of food on the doorstep each Thanksgiving poor. (They were embarrassed, but my grandmother and her five children spread only seven years apart ate the gifts, you can be sure...every bite. They truly were hungry.)

As a result, once Mom had children of her own, she made our Christmases special in the way she thought must be special: she went crazy with gifts, decor...and spending.

Mom gave her children dozens of presents apiece (we weren't complaining), sent out at least a hundred holiday cards each year (one Christmas it was 253 cards...I will never forget that...and no, she wasn't a business), decorated our way to a staggering December electric bill and bought "a little something" for the postman, the garbage man, the neighbors and every single teacher at school, including both lunch aides.

We loved her for it. Or more accurately, we loved that she wanted to do something special for us. Then, as we grew up, even we kids began feeling embarrassed and a little awkward at the bonanza Mom frantically pulled out of a hat (and out of the family savings account) every December.

Dad hinted. Bills were paid late. We kids got quieter and quieter around our friends about "what we all got" because we knew they'd dislike our answers out of jealousy -- who wouldn't?

Then suddenly one day, I was an adult and had children of my own. And, I'm ashamed to say, now I was the one spending my entire Christmas bonus on toys and gifts rather than, say, car insurance or health care. The one spending an embarrassment of riches we didn't really have, for reasons even I didn't fully understand.
Mom had passed the torch on to me, good intentions notwithstanding. I decided I wanted to do something about it. So I made the change -- and my kids are just as happy for it. Here's what we did:

We scaled down the Christmas buying -- and we did it as a team.

It was easier than you might think. We said, "We are all going to save for our family and for the earth this year. Mom and Dad will only buy for each other, you kids will save in your piggy banks and we'll get you a few REALLY great toys each."

The kids were immediately on board. Children love when families do things together and have a cause; don't underestimate your own children when it comes to their sense of teamwork!

Next we approached the extended family -- gently. First we suggested a Secret Santa where only one person would buy for one other person, plus bring one toy each for any child under 13 to the "big" family Christmas. We were amazed -- they took right to the idea. It seems everyone was as relieved as we were to be scaling down. (Psst: this year we're aiming for "kids only"!)

Next, we started a "count your blessings" tree. Each year, my children made one ornament apiece symbolizing something they were happy to have, or happy to be able to do for another. This lead to some amazing creativity: former soccer socks as stockings (they were grateful to have been part of a team and have so much fun), collages of family members' faces, a framed picture of our very favorite place to hike.

They were grateful for the very existence of Christmas too and over the years made a whole collection of barnyard characters a la The Nativity, perhaps the most beloved of the ornaments I keep and display every year. (In fact, we have often subbed an animal or two for get-togethers, such as my littlest's barnyard 1st birthday.)

We're finding simplification to be absolutely wonderful. With less running around, spending, boxing up and shipping to do, we're finding lots of time to sit together and watch family favorites like Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas (LOVE Emmet) and the great 60s animations, read holiday stories, cook together and to simply cuddle together on a chilly winter evening under the Christmas patchwork blanket we've proudly made by ourselves.

These are the moments that last -- and they haven't cost us a thing except the most precious gift of all: our time, handed willingly to one another.

If you're finding that you're starting to lose the "holiday spirit," try simplifying. You just may find gifts you never thought of before, and they'll last a lifetime.




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About the author: Melanie is a wife, mommy and part-time author who enjoys putting together themed party ideas for other parents just like herself. A big DIY and creativity supporter, she works daily to simplify her life, to enjoy the little things and to always remember what's important.

Tis The Season...

In spite of, I have so many things to be thankful for. It's really not relevant to me what religion, if any, you are. Christmas has always given me a warm, happy feeling. The decorations, the carols, the pleasant thoughts of baked goodies, large family gatherings and festiveness bring back such fond memories. It's really sad that Christmas can't always be as magical as it is during your childhood.

I can still remember what it was like waking Christmas morning. The sounds, the smells, the joy are as real to me now as they were back then.

It was a good time.

I hate that Christmas has become one of the most commercialized holidays we celebrate. Little about Christ or the celebration of his birth are reflected in the behavior displayed by retailers or shoppers. I realize it's one of the holiest of holidays mixed with a bit of pagan tradition. But heck, aren't they all? Still, what I've seen lately is disheartening on so many levels.

Take. Take. Take.... No giving. No spirit of peace and good will. Pepper spray for the woman who dares to take the last video game. Trip and trample the old lady who's too slow to rush the front doors of the local Wal-Mart. Buy excessively just because it's ON SALE... stating as you type in your credit card number "I don't need it. I just hate to miss a good sale."

Really?

I found out a long time ago that I can't change the world nor anyone in it. I can only change me . And if that change stimulates a change (for the better) in someone else, then all the better.

My life list item #30 is to spend one Christmas day helping the needy.

After discussing my plans with my family (especially my youngest son), I've decided this will be the year for making that goal a reality.

Because like I said.... in spite of, I have so many things to be thankful for...

Life is the greatest gift of all.

Merry Christmas...

Sometime There Aren't Words... But I'll Try

In May of this year, I met one of my father's other children. A sweet, kindhearted man named Darek. Darek and I took to each other like we'd only been away a short time at boarding school. Our conversations flowed so effortlessly. Staring at him was like looking at a more masculine reflection of me in the mirror.

Of course shortly after meeting him, I had my ordeal with my heart. He was right there; always calling, always concerned; wanting to come back to Mississippi from Florida to check on his baby sister; sending care packages in the mail. Just being a brother - something I'd never really had.

After I started recovering, we talked about me visiting Florida. One of my goals on my life list is to dip my feet in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. He informed me that he only lived about 15 minutes from the beach and would take me there as soon as I arrived in Florida.

Just a few weeks ago, Darek reluctantly told me that he'd been diagnosed with mouth cancer and was planning on having this pretty extensive surgery....involving removal of a portion of his jaw, bone, skin and blood vessel grafting and reconstructing - the whole nine! He said he asked the doctor if he would "still look good"....my angel... 

He sounded so optimistic (yep, he was my brother). I was more concerned about any radiation or chemo that might follow. 

Well, we won't have to worry about any of that now. My brother passed away this afternoon after developing complications after returning home from the hospital. He was 47 years old.

Pray for me.

Pray for his wife and children..

Pray for his other siblings....

Pray for his extended family members....

Pray for us all.