Three Amigos!

 Londyn(cousin), Jordan(nephew/son...lol) and Jacob(son)

Spending the day making ready for my first night back at work. I found this oldy-but-goody after uploading about 500 pics onto the PC from my camera.

Sometimes There Aren't Words... But I'll Try

In the summer of 1969, a young woman left Chicago, headed back home to Mississippi. I imagine she was filled with too many emotions to have to deal with as a 23-year-old small town girl. She had arrived in Chicago a year or so prior hoping to get to know the father that had left her and her siblings when she was a young child. That wasn't to be. In hindsight, she will admit that her bitterness towards him and her immaturity wouldn't allow her to forgive him for what he'd done. Forgiveness is such a powerful and beautiful thing. It removes blame, anger and animosity from the equation... ushering forth the healing we all need to move on.

She wasn't alone on her bus ride back home. Tucked away in her womb was one of God's greatest creations. A child. A child who was conceived out of a friendship that blossomed between herself and an older man. A girl child who's intelligence, bubbly personality, inquisitive nature and infectious smile would one day help her forget the disappointments of her time spent in the windy city.

Twenty years later her daughter decided she wanted needed to know the father she had only known in name. Her history was calling to her and she couldn't ignore it any longer.

After a few phone calls (God, why hadn't she done this sooner), she reached her aunt, her father's sister. As she began to explain the nature of her call, tears began to stream down her face. She couldn't explain the outpouring of emotion but there it was.

Her aunt was kind and gentle. She listened to every word and assured her she would get in touch with her brother and have him call. The young woman said good bye, placed the phone back on it's cradle.... and waited.

Within 15 minutes the phone rang, startling the young woman. She answered with a trembling H-e-l-l-o. On the other end of the phone was the voice of a man she didn't recognize but knew without a doubt was her father.

They connected immediately.

They talked for hours.

After 20 long years a lifetime, she had her father.

Preparations were made to meet at a family reunion that was taking place. The woman was nervous, excited, terrified. She asked her older sister to accompany her. Her sister was the only sibling she'd ever known. Having different father's biologically made them only half sisters... but there's something about sharing the same mother that negates that half crap. They were and are sisters!

The meeting was all the young woman dreamed it would be. Her father was warm, kind, humorous and the resemblance was amazing. She met his other children. For the most part, they were pleasant in a stand-offish sort of way. But there was one brother who welcomed her as if she'd only been away for a short time at summer camp.

Jimmy. Her big brother.

The weekend ended much too soon. After she arrived back home, she kept in touch with her father for the next several months.

Then life .... her normal way of life... stepped in. The birth of her first child. The demanding studies required to achieve her nursing degree. A grandmother diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Life.

Before she knew it, 2 years had passed and she... once again... had lost touch with her father. Her number had changed and so had his.

One afternoon the young woman's mother, just recently having buried her own mother, sat her down and told her to re-connect with her "family" again. She said "Life is too short. You took the time to reach out and find him. Now do the right thing and stay in touch. There's nothing more important than family".

The young woman listened.

She searched and searched until she found a number that hadn't changed. As she dialed the number, she was filled with the same excitement she'd felt 3 years before when she placed the first call.

She reached her uncle. Her father's older brother. His wife answered the phone. The young woman went into the spill about being so and so's daughter and needing to get in touch with him.

......................

The old woman on the other line urged the young woman to sit down.

But she didn't want to sit down. She was still reeling from having lost her grandmother to cancer. Why on earth would she need to sit down. This was to be another happy reunion.

She lied and told the woman she was sitting.

"Your father died 4 months ago".

Have you ever felt like the world, time, everything just stops?

The phone call didn't last much longer. The young woman was given the details, new numbers for her brother and his family and offered condolences.

The end.

Living with having only met my father once and having him taken away from me again three years later has been one of the hardest chapters in my life to close.

Why me? Why couldn't we have had more time? Why couldn't I have felt his arms around me and his lips against my brow hundreds of thousands of times... instead of just one weekend?

Then I realized....

I had that weekend. And if that was all that was in the cards for me and him... then I was and still am thankful!

I lived a lifetime in that one weekend with my dad...

And the story is still unfolding.

It seems that "Papa was a rolling stone". I told you about my oldest brother.

Well, the handsome devil in the pic is another brother.

I just found out about him a few months ago. We're planning to meet in May.

Is that smile familiar or what?!

So, although my father is gone, his legacy lives on.

I'm just making sure this time I don't miss a minute.

Living With A Schizophrenic.... Or Not

Cute, right? I know. People either loved her unique look or thought she was the weirdest looking thing since Celie from The Color Purple. Neko was her name and she lived with us for about 6 months back in 2009.

She could be the sweetest thing.... affectionate, playful and great company for my big orange tabby, Seymour.

The only problem was.... Neko was a schizophrenic... the paranoid type. She would attack, wedge herself into my kitchen drawers, walk the curtains and claw your eyes out!

Needless to say, Jacob returned home one afternoon and was confronted with a bit of bad news. It seems Neko took a flying leap off the balcony and scampered away before I could get downstairs to reach her.

......ummmm...

Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!

(To remain in your good graces and in a effort to keep my reserved mansion made of gold in the residential section of Heaven, Neko was returned to the Animal Shelter I adopted her from. I checked on her for a couple of weeks and to my surprise she was adopted by another unsuspecting family!)

Why I Watch You Sleep

Time is relative. And the more time I'm blessed with the more time I want. There's so much to still experience... so much beauty to behold...so much laughter to share.... so much love to give. I wrote the following piece in April of 2006 as my youngest son was approaching his 5th birthday. Much has changed in the past 5 years. But fortunately far more has remained the same. And as I listen to his rhythmic breathing this morning taking in the smell of his sweet skin while he's millions of unconscious miles away I still love to watch him sleep.

"You've grown so much in these last 4 years. You'll be 5 years old in just a few more days. Has it been that long already? Where did the time go?

The house is quiet now. Your little footsteps, the sound of your "intellectual" conversation and your little bursts of laughter are only faint memories until you explode on the scene again in the morning in all your glory.

I have a few secrets to share with you. I allow you to pronounce some of your words incorrectly. It's my little way of keeping you my baby just a little while longer. I should tell you that it's not fafing, it's faking. I should tell you it's not burk, it's burp. Don't worry. I'll tell you sooner or later. It's just my way of holding on to what I know will end way to soon - your childhood and my ability to keep you safely wrapped in my arms.

The public displays of affection are drifting away as fast as these last few years have. I can caress your cheeks and kiss you as much as I want right now. You're miles away - dreaming of all the sweet little things boys dream of.

I hold you close and whisper I love you.

You are my world.

You are my hope for the future.

You are my Son."

Sacheen Littlefeather

On the 27th of March back in 1973, I was probably running around laughing and clapping in celebration of one of the ultimate achievements of childhood - potty training. My mother tells a story of how she nursed my bum back to it's current state of mocha brown after a failed attempt by yours truly to dry a pair of training panties while wearing them on the small SPACE HEATER IN THE BATHROOM. Thank God for small miracles - one of which is no recollection of this ordeal!

Another event that took place on this day was Sacheen Littlefeather's famous declination (on Marlon Brando's behalf) of the Best Actor Academy Award (video). Brando's boycott and refusal to accept the award was due to Hollywood's portrayal of Native Americans in film.

From History.Com

Brando had been involved in social causes for years, speaking publicly in support of the formation of a Jewish state in the 1940s, as well as for African-American civil rights and the Black Panther Party. His Oscar statement expressed support for the American Indian Movement (AIM) and referenced the ongoing situation at Wounded Knee.

Maybe Denzel Washington should have refused his Oscar for Training Day. I remember during his acceptance speech he commented about the Academy "killing two birds"... referencing the fact that he and Halle Berry won Best Actress and Best Actor on the same night.

Well, I don't know about that. But what I do know IS there's a special level of Hell awaiting members of the Academy that "gave" the Oscar to Denzel over Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind)!

Just kidding about the level of Hell bit...

But surely seven years of bad luck are in order

Earth Hour - And Beyond

At 8:30 PM on Saturday 26th March 2011, lights will switch off around the globe for Earth Hour and people will commit to actions that go beyond the hour. Be a part of our global community! Earth Hour Website

My First 5K - It's Time To (Expletive) or Get Off The Pot

Inspired by Karen Walrond back in July of last year, I decided to write my own "Life List". She termed hers a Mighty Life List.

50 things I want to accomplish before I follow the immortal instruction of William Cullen Bryant:

So live, that when thy summons comes to join

The innumerable caravan which moves

To that mysterious realm, where each shall take

His chamber in the silent halls of death,

Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,

Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed

By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave

Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch

About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.

The list isn't in any certain order of importance. Nor is it all that I want to do. Just random ramblings of someone who realizes the brevity of life and lives by a visual code of conduct.

If I write it down, I'll remember it.

If I remember it, I'll do it.

And with a pre-existing list I can add more goals/dreams as other ideas come to mind.

Number #2 on that list is to start and finish a 5k run.

Keep in mind I've never been a runner. I do enjoy a brisk walk 2 to 3 times a week. But jogging/running any respectable distance is truly a s t r e t c h for me (pun intended).

Considering the fact that my hometown isn't an area that offers many "organized" forms of recreational activities, I've been wondering when and where the opportunity to accomplish this goal would occur. So, imagine how excited I was to receive an event invite on FB about our YMCA's 7th Annual Cotton Classic Road Race.

The race features a 10K Run, 5K Run/Walk, and Mississippi's largest 1 Mile Fun Run for Children! Also included: $3850 10K Race Purse, t-shirts and finisher's medals for all participants. Proceeds from the race benefit the YMCA Partnership Campaign, a program that provides financial assistance for YMCA membership and programs for needy families.

I can already feel the lactic acid building in my muscles just from thinking. talking. blogging. about it.

I've got about 5 to 6 weeks to train for this. I'm not really expecting to run the entire race but I'm looking forward to some type of personal best. And I don't mean the first to pass out from exhaustion!

Keep your fingers crossed and any tips, personal stories or Hail Mary's are welcomed!

Girl Power!! - SK Waller

Late late one night about 3 years ago I was checking my Sitemeter stats and noticed a visitor from Stillwater, Oklahoma.

Stillwater? What the hell!

I don't suppose it was any different from the hundreds of other towns listed on my most recent visitors report. It was just something about this one that stood out. So, I followed the link back to the visitor's site, Incurable Insomniac.

Now I remember what grabbed my attention.

IT WAS 3 OR 4 AM AND THIS VISITOR WAS READING MY BLOG!!!

Surely no one in their right mind would be up reading my "hot air" at this hour except me! But there she was.

I wasn't familiar with the rules of the blogosphere back then. You know... how time means nothing. We bloggers post whenever inspiration hits and then we wait. We wait on the readers to show up and shower us with comments. (hint hint!)

Oh, back to me and my visitor, my friend, my therapist (yes, you were so many times), Steph.

SK Waller, her friends call her Steph, is an extraordinary woman. We've been best bloggy friends every since. She's held my hand through a divorce, a child hitching up with Uncle Sam, and any and everything else life has thrown my way. I love her dearly and am so very proud of what she has and is accomplishing.

You see... my girl is a woman with many hats. She's a devoted partner to Nettl, a wonderful mother to Micah and Joel, a gifted musician (she loves that 60s stuff), a kick ass chef, and most recently, a published author!

Her With A Dream (the first installment in her Beyond the Bridge Trilogy) is finally complete. Spanning the musically innovative years between 1966 and 1991, the Beyond The Bridge Trilogy follows the lives of a group of colorful, diverse characters who are inextricably linked through music and fame, most notably, brilliant British guitar icon, Gordon Hammond.

Weaving her characters’ lives amongst those of actual legendary personalities, SK Waller takes the reader on a magic carpet ride through the most creative and revolutionary decades the musical world has ever known.

Check out her Beyond The Bridge Blog, like her Beyond The Bridge Facebook Page and/or get to know this talented and beautiful spirit on a personal level as I have via her personal blog, Incurable Insomniac!

I love you Steph.........

Dove Ad - Intentional, Inadvertent or Just The Way We Think?

Sociological Images has an interesting post titled The Pitfalls of Marketing: Race and Beauty in a Dove Ad. This is the ad that was sent in by one of the site's readers

 The ad appeared in O Magazine and is being criticized not for what it's saying but how it's being said. The placement of the women related to the "before" and "after" is what's in question.

In a society where "whiter" skin and "thinner" physiques are viewed more often than not as more beautiful, attractive, appealing, is Dove and their advertising team intentionally showcasing the mindset of so many.

Will we have visibly more beautiful skin OR be visibly more beautiful??

I love Dove soap. I can't say that I've ever noticed that big of a difference regarding how my skin feels whether it's Dove, Ivory, Dial or Lever 2000.  It's the scent that I'm fond of. The way the smell lingers in the air and on your skin after a luxuriating bath.

After viewing several of their television commercial ad campaigns, I'm sure of one thing. The true colors they see shining through aren't much darker than a light olive! However, the Dove Evolution commercial was on point... The rest was typical.

Genocide, Rebellion, Black Gold and the Search for a New Camp!

I froze stiff as a plank in my chair at work last night when a coworker revealed the news I'd been waiting to hear for the past few weeks - NATO has engaged the enemy.... the Libyan government and military.

A small independent country in the middle east, engaged in a civilian uprising to over throw it's leader is receiving full military back up from the NATO coalition.

Insisting that the funny looking dude  STOP wasn't enough.

World super powers tend to have a real knee-jerk reaction when they hear about the slaughter of innocents at the hand of ruthless dictators and diabolical maniacs. And if memory serves me correctly, the civilian death toll in Libya is at about 1000.

1000......

How admirable of the great NATO freedom fighters.

Keeping the flame of freedom and democracy ablaze in this world. (applause)

Did I convince you yet? Didn't think so.

You see if the 1000 lost lives was the true catalyst for outside intervention, then the genocide in Darfur and the Congo would have been squashed ages ago. One would think nearly 400,000 dead Sudanese and 5.4 million dead Congolese would be reason enough.

Perhaps it's just a matter of time. I keep forgetting how the coalition forces put an end to the genocide taking place in Kosovo back in the mid '90s.

Those darn Serbs must have sucked at genocide. Less than 200 bodies were recovered. Of course, we're not counting the 2000 civilians the NATO posse murdered! Real life regulators!!!! (Mount up)

The United States did get a kick ass military base on Kosovo soil out of the deal. Camp Bondsteel. 955 acres with a 7 mile perimeter strategically based to offer the U.S. military the ability to pre-position large quantities of equipment and supplies within striking distance of Caspian oil fields, pipeline routes and relevant sea lanes.

Ahhh....

Now I get it!

Libya is the third largest oil producer in Africa, after Nigeria and Angola. Darfur, located in the country of Sudan isn't so lucky. Sure, there's oil. The only problem is the Sudanese government continues to maintain its independence from Washington, D.C. where oil is concerned. Unable to control Sudan 's oil policy, the United States has — by introducing sanctions on the export of Sudanese oil — hindered development of the industry.

In other words, Exxon, Chevron and British Petroleum ain't drilling!

 China's got their hand in the mix... but China's main concern is....


CHINA!!

My heart breaks realizing it's all economics. It's all politics. It's all I'm the big man on campus and I want to control the entire world's energy supply. Those courageous military men and women who've been physically and psychologically scarred forever or given the ultimate sacrifice - their life.... were mere pawns in a game of you've got it and I want it... ALL.

So, stop your petitions to save Darfur, end the genocide in Darfur.... FORGET about Darfur because these wars IRAQ, AFGHANISTAN, and LIBYA are being waged with the grand prize being the keys to the oil candy store.

And the Darfari and Congolese people will continue to fight for their.....

 existence.

Ma Vie - La Deuxième Partie

Finally beyond my youthful transgressions. No more bouts with acne, peer pressure, unrequited love crushes. These growing pains of youth have been replaced with anti-wrinkle cream, dealing with on the job asshats and the feverish search for a soul mate worthy of sharing my life.

I am a woman. A woman who shuffled into middle age oblivious to the reality that I was even here.

Until now.

I've been dealing with this for about a year now. I didn't put two and two together until earlier this week - night sweats, mood swings, Aunt Flo's unpredictability.

AND the OBVIOUS....

The HOT FLASHES (please click here for added effect)

Imagine a sudden wave of intense heat rushing through your body. Within seconds of it's arrival, this strange feeling that you're experiencing causes you to sweat, and you'd swear that your skin is on fire.

My personal summers have no rhyme or reason and only effect me from the neck up but OMG..... they are impressive!

The heat starts at my brow and slowly encompasses my entire head and face like a vise. My brow moistens but I've not actually perspired..... yet.

At 41, I didn't think the change would be happening this soon. I called my mom and asked if she remembered how old she was when menopause hit. What a relief to hear that by the time she was 43 it was over and done with.

The only thing is she never had hot flashes, night sweats or any of the other crap I've been dealing with.

Oh well. Bring it on Mother Nature!!!

Where's my damn fan!!!

Twice In The History of The World Should Have Been Enough

I've always loved history. There's so much useless trivia floating around in my head about things that occurred ages ago til there's little room for much else. Even being the history buff that I think I am.... I'm sure just about everyone knows about Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

The one time nuclear weaponry has been used during war; and it was catastrophic. These two cities in Japan were devastated. Men, women, children killed instantaneously.

I've seen pics that will burn in my memory for the rest of my life of the suffering caused by this final attempt to bring about a Japanese surrender during WWII.... HORROR!! And that term pales compared to the suffering the Japanese people endured.

Now it seems lethal exposure to radiation has reared it's ugly head again. The Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Plant is the culprit this time as a result of last week's earthquake and tsunami.

The man-made Manhattan Project over 60 years ago or the ravages of a natural disaster; seems to me uranium and plutonium should have remained on the periodic table and not stored up waiting to be unleashed on  unsuspecting innocents.


UPDATE: US Begins Airlifts Out of Japan

If You're Irish, Have A Drink - If You're Not.... Have One Anyway!!

My line of thinking is.... any day is a great day to have a cold one. I found this site earlier. Check it out! And oh yeah, Happy St. Patrick's Day!

8.9 Magnitude Earthquake and the Tsunami That Ensued

People never cease to amaze. Prayers are being offered to those affected by this natural disaster. Others are insisting it's God's anger being unleashed on people who have somehow pissed him off. And there are some questioning why anyone would bother to pray to some nonexistent deity when it's been proven time and time again that prayer changes nothing.

What a wonderful world...

Thoughts and prayers to those affected by this horrible tragedy

And to those who think otherwise.... BITE ME!!!

Charlie Sheen - My 2 Cents

Charlie Sheen....

I can't even begin to discuss this situation - main reason being... I don't really know what he's done. I've heard comic book character, celebrity meltdown, tiger blood, "winning", an ugly shirt company on the verge of closing it's doors because Charlie said it's shirts were ugly.

I'm sure that doesn't come close to covering it. But that's about all I know. And the thing is... I don't WANT to know anything else.

Evidently the behavior is inappropriate, bordering on psychotic and something everyone is sick of!

The only problem I have with the whole thing is people making light of an obviously troubled man. Tee-shirts, comic books, tiger blood sports drinks.

C'mon folks. Really?

Mental illness is real... yep, Tom Cruise, I said it! And it's no laughing matter. Just this past week a young mother in my hometown called the Department of Human Services, told them she no longer wanted her children. They offered to pay one of her utility bills, trying to alleviate some of her stress and scheduled an appointment with her for later in the week.

The next day she killed her 3 year old by cooking him in the oven. Now she's in jail facing murder charges and guess who has the remaining child - the Department of Human Services.

Life. It's serious business people

Kudos To Facebook

Facebook and other means of social networking have taken the world by storm. It's kind of hard to imagine what we did before Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, texting and other instantaneous methods of communication.

True story.

I took care of a patient a few nights ago that was instructed upon discharge to stop or at least "limit" the amount of texting they were doing to help with their carpal tunnel syndrome.

No joke.

Personally, I love Facebook. Whether I'm updating my own status or reading someone else's - I'm hooked. My Blackberry vibrates constantly with "LIKES" .... "COMMENTS"... "EVENT INVITATIONS", etc.

As with anything, there's a downside. Facebook has been plagued with privacy issues. I use the https login option and never accept the invitations to farm, build, hug, blow kisses and all that other useless (my opinion and of course, I own it) stuff.

With all that being said I've got to give it to Facebook for their latest awesome act of caring.

Facebook is launching a system that allows users to report friends who they think may be contemplating suicide.

The feature is being run in conjunction with Samaritans, a 24 hour service designed to educate the public about suicide prevention, provide counseling and intervention to those contemplating suicide and to reduce the stigma associated with suicide. BBC NEWS Technology posted an article a few days ago about how it actually works.

100th Anniversary of International Women's Day



Join Women on The Bridge!!

Obituary For Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died recently in the United States. No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes and factories, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's OK to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole language, and new math. But his health declined when he became infected with the if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies. Reports of a 6 year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Eventually, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the boy scouts to professional sports.

Finally, when people, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, were awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for low-flow toilets, rocking chairs, and step-ladders. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two step siblings: My Rights, and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized that Common Sense was gone.

~ Anonymous!!!!