What A Joyful Time of Year!

It's kind of odd that the first shopping day of the Christmas season is referred to as "Black" Friday. I mean seriously the white-Christmas-purity-snowy-winter-wonderland has no place for anything labeled "black"!

Not that I have a real problem with the word "black"...lol! The behavior, endless displays of rudeness and greed; the disregard for your fellow man shopper - that's my issue.

Maybe black is just what retailers hope to be in for the rest of the year as opposed to red!

But the holiday we Christians use to celebrate, honor and commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ shouldn't have anything to do with these type of spectacles either, right? Surely the wise men didn't gnash teeth, threaten to shoot, or trample each other to get the gifts for the little child in the manger.

It's almost sickening...no, it IS sickening.

Bah hum bug!!

Free Advice for Rachel Uchitel...

Found a wonderful website the other night MailOnline.com. I stumbled there from Google New's page which featured an article entitled I only wanted to be loved: Rachel Uchitel breaks her silence on her affair with Tiger Woods.

Let's get a few things straight. First and foremost Tiger paid Ms. Uchitel (very well might I add) for her silence. So, anything she's spilling is a far cry from the beans.

....and as far as the title of this heartwarming I've-been-through-some-terrible-shit-in-my-life-and-I-won't-the-world-to-love-me piece that was written about her... I'd like to offer Rachel a bit of free advice.

Read the following carefully Rach - (The next time you want to be loved.... hook up with a man that doesn't have a WIFE and TWO KIDS!)

Thanksgiving 2010

Have a wonderful and blessed day everyone!

Bringing Women's Water Polo to The Limelight

Will we ever learn?

In an effort to (according to team member Lauren Wenger) "protest any stereotypes that people may have for women water polo players", several team members decided to bare all for the cover of ESPN magazine.

Protest any stereotypes?!

I hope she isn't referring to the constant objectification of women, or the old adage that women can't accomplish anything unless they're willing to bare it all.

What she does, in my opinion - and since I own that I have a right to say - is give the word bimbo a whole new meaning, trailing behind a boat load of endorsements they won't be getting!

There may not be an "i" in team. But there's certainly one in BIMBO!!!

Video

Retirement - Stats from The Onion

Have loved this website since our last presidential election. But this totally satirical and quite comical pic may be closer to the reality that many of us are facing than we think.

I have not planned well for retirement. I didn't even think of retirement as something I'd have to seriously deal with at some point in a life until a few years ago. I mean what 24 year old considers what they'll need at the age of 65! Ewwww!

At this age, our reality is we'll be young, beautiful and a perky bundle of endless energy and weekend partying forever, right?

Fresh out of nursing school sixteen years ago I was that perky bundle of endless energy. The world was my oyster and it was time to cash in on my education and skills level! I was all about finding the job that would assure me the largest pay check. Several companies and health care organizations I interviewed with boasted about their awesome benefits packages: great health insurance, excellent 401k's with unheard of employer matching contributions, credit unions... yada yada yada.

I can remember as clear as what I just shoveled in my mouth a few minutes ago exactly what I would tell these miserly personnel directors after their "benefits package" rhetoric was finished rolling in one ear and out the other (or perhaps it just bounced off my brick hard head).

Benefits can't pay my bills. So, can you give me the salary I'm requesting? If not, I'm out!

Oh, youth is indeed wasted on the young. What I wouldn't give now to have had enough maturity and forethought to have started planning for the future much much earlier.

I'm sure all 20-something-ers aren't as oblivious about future financial goals as I was. But I know I wasn't alone in my line of thinking. Ha!

Now I'm in the group that (according to this chart) is the same place 7% of the rest of us are.

Ooops! Gotta run there's a Sam Waterston retirement commercial on!

When Race Trumped Gender

As a minority and a woman (minority squared!), I've been hit with a double whammie. I'm all about empowering women, calling out sexism, and anything remotely resembling gender biased viewpoints. Back in 2008 I was stoked that we finally had a formidable female vying for the highest office in the land.

As a life long Democrat, it was a no brainer. Besides - this young, charismatic, relatively unknown (black) Senator from Illinois didn't have a snowball's chance in hell at being the Democratic candidate, let alone the president of these United States!

I supported Hillary, initially. Then when it seemed that a young, charismatic, relatively unknown (black) Senator man from Illinois was actually morphing into a viable option for the Democratic party my allegiance shifted.

I'm a woman. but the truest physical distinction about me that differentiates me more than anything else in this world is the fact that I'm black. By and large people see me in the following order:

Black, first. Female, second and black last.

All the hopes, dreams, struggles, expectations and proof that we had truly "overcome" rested on the shoulders of Barack Obama - a monumental weight for anyone to have to be burdened with.

Shifting my support from Hillary to Barack wasn't as easy as some may have you believe. I listened to both of them. I liked what they both had to say. I just was more tuned in to what and how Obama was saying it.

So much for campaign trail rhetoric!

Still, I identified with his platform and was captivated by his powerful speeches and fervent belief in change.

I'm not embarrassed to say that for once in my life race trumped gender and every thing else! Would this opportunity ever come again? Now my two sons didn't have to rely on their parents constant spills about being whatever they wanted to be if they just worked hard enough. The proof was finally on the verge of being a reality. Blaxploitation hadn't worked after all! - The Leader of the Free World was going to be a black man. And just in case this chance never presented itself again... my vote was his.

So, much has changed since November of 2008. Like I've said before President Obama still seems to be in campaign mode not Commander-in-Chief mode. He seems weak, docile and incapable of ever being the leader he truly could be.

His political correctness and eagerness to appease everyone has benefited no one. You can't be delusional and act as if race doesn't matter, Mr. President... when that's all a lot of people see when they watch you and your family as you emerge out of the door on Air Force One and head down the stairs, or you speak to the nation during your State of the Union address, or you take the First Lady to dinner at night, or you finally have the audacity to get riled up and fight back...certainly not to be confused with uppity...know your place - ha!

Who's to blame? Him, his advisors, his cabinet, the Republican party of no....

Perhaps it's a combination of all of it. No matter what he does or doesn't do... this country wasn't ready - not for him or anyone that looks like him. I doubt we ever will be. The putrid sluggish current of racism flows through our veins, our nation and our nation's history like the very stitching that holds "Old Glory" together.

A man that's just as white as he is black has pulled the scab off of the decubitus of intolerance and the wound bed is necrotic!

We are mid-way through the president's first (and probably last) term in office. If he is going to be remembered in history for anything other than simply being the first black president, he'd better start cranking out some change we can believe in.

....and still, will that be enough?

I figure if you're going to be damned if you do or damned if you don't.... DO WHAT'S RIGHT AND DAMN WHOEVER DOESN'T LIKE IT!

Insurgent? What The Hell Does That Really Mean?

• A rebel, guerrilla, freedom fighter; rebellious, opposing authority - (American Revolution)
• An organized revolt against a government - (American Revolution)
• Member of a political party who rebels against established leadership (The New Tea Party)
• People rising in revolt against established authority, especially a government - (Civil Rights Movement)

So, you see - the media and the government would have one believe that the word insurgent is something vile, terrifying, animalistic, barbaric and sinister. When in essence it really is not. It's just a great code name for shooting and killing whoever shoots at you!

The leader of a country that has seen far too much American blood shed on it's soil wants the United States Military to, in a word, LEAVE. Yet, our government continues to come up with excuses, scenarios, rationalizations, and other mumbo jumbo as to why our presence there best serves the country of Afghanistan, it's people, and the world (keeping the Taliban and Al Qaeda and the insurgents from concocting anymore terrorist plots).

You think?!

I might be going out on a limb here. But I feel safe in saying that nothing can prevent a terrorist attack! Terrorists aren't indigenous to one specific region. Their network is global.

And deciding who is or isn't a terrorist often depends on how the war on terror has affected you. The act of terrorism can be orchestrated and carried out by anyone. Just think of how terrifying it must be to find out that every member of your family was blown to hell by a misguided missile attack by the coalition forces (the liberators). Ah, but it was an accident...just another unfortunate episode of collateral damage.

Dead is Dead!

The war in Iraq, but the enemy isn't the Iraqi people. The war in Afghanistan, but the enemy isn't the Afghan people.

It's the insurgents! This campaign will have no end. There's an insurgent born everyday or certainly one made, spawned out of the brutality, suffering and madness caused by war.

I wish someone would listen to Mr. Karzai.

The Deepest, Darkest Most Vile Depths of Hell Aren't Good Enough

I resent the fact that American tax dollars will be utilized to care for this monster if he/she or both of them are ever convicted of her murder. This poor baby endured more pain and suffering in ten years...than most of us see in a life time.

Rest in Peace Zahra...

Kanye and Bush Are Both Douchebags!

Damn! I hate he missed!!!

November 11, 2001 - over 3000 people perished simultaneously on American soil

Invaded a country under the guise of retaliation for 9/11; thousands of American and coalition troops killed or maimed for life

Authorized torturing prisoners of war

Authorized tax cuts to the wealthiest of Americans

Squandered a government surplus into the worst national debt this country has ever seen

....and you honestly consider Kanye West's comments about you post Hurricane Katrina the worst moment of your presidency????

Seriously, lay off the sauce, George

Some Things Are Almost Too Ridiculous To Be True

Very little has caught my attention over the past several weeks. My world (especially the one I inhabit exclusively - my inner world) seems to be spirally downward with only fleeting periods of peace, happiness and all those other wonderfully essential emotions that make our existence worth the ride.

The mid-term elections ended as I thought they would. The comical genius of the American populace often leaves me wondering if we're even capable or worthy of electing our own leaders. And if so, are those we choose really up to the task. It all plays out like school yard politics instead of real life meat and potatoes type stuff. I mean seriously... after eight years of Republican/Bush bullshit, are we to think punishing the democratic party by electing the same party that got us into the mess is truly the answer?

In a word, NO! But hey, that's just my opinion. And since I didn't vote I really shouldn't have a darn thing to say about it. Yeah...yeah, I know the song about how many people gave their lives in order that I might exercise my civic duty as an American citizen and cast my vote for my candidate of choice. However, since writing my name on the ballot was likely to only garner one vote, mine... I decided to stay at home in my warm toasty bed.

Did I mention that I'm also very disgruntled with things outside my inner world?

So, there's where my mind is right now. Disenchanted, disgruntled, disillusioned, disheartened and after yesterday...add dismayed to my dis list!

Amazon.com had an interesting book on sale to anyone interested in fine tuning their sick, warped, and totally criminal desire to fulfill their pedophilic lust. The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover’s Code of Conduct. The book has, of course, been pulled from Amazon.com's site but Jesus!... how did it get there in the first place.

Is there nothing that can be done to someone who would even write something so horrific and vile?

It's like Hades opened it's gates and let a world full of monsters have a weekend pass and this time Orpheus wasn't there to look back!

Seriously People?!!!

I am utterly convinced. I live in a nation of fuck-tards!!!!! Oh, by the way, Happy Veteran's Day, (Islam)!

November is National Adoption Month

Cross post from Voluptuous Stoicism

our family works hard to keep our children’s birth cultures — and their relationships to their birth communities — active in our family life.

we’ve been extra lucky lately in that we have been participating in some interesting thesis work by students both near and far. we have been part of a survey by a grad student at ewha women’s university in korea, so that better programs for korean-as-second-language — for korean adoptees — can be provided in the united states. we are planning on being part of the fieldwork of a university of delaware student who is researching attitudes and discussion about adoption. and, in our family and with nunchi nori, we are working with a haverford college grad student who is writing her thesis on transmission of cultural practices for korean adoptees.

since i have the connection at university of pennsylvania, through nunchi nori, to the korean student association at penn, i am working towards the creation of a survey that will help KSAs in the area know what adoptive korean families are looking for when it comes to culture outreach — and will encourage adoptive korean families to take advantage of that outreach.

it’s all fascinating. it’s important!

but it’s also all korean!

i know that in many ways claudia has “easier” access to her birth culture than béla does. in day to day life she is surrounded by more african-americans than béla is koreans. but it’s not really enough, and we often have trouble finding people who are comfortable talking to us about black culture the way we do about korean culture. we want more role models for her — whether adult black adoptees, or not — who can share her heritage with her. when we ask specific questions of african-american friends or colleagues, in e mail or on facebook — questions like, “what do you think about me using this felting needle to tighten claudia’s locs?” or “so what do black people eat on thanksgiving that’s different from what white people eat?” — we often get no answers at all. and this is from people we KNOW and are comfortable with. even face-to-face, such direct questions seem to get vague, uncomfortable, answers. not from everyone, mind you — but from people from whom we did not expect that vagueness.

make no mistake, koreans put up walls when it comes to who they are and how much of it they want to share. but it’s pretty clear that african-americans do too. we’ve got good korean connections who will allow us to shake ‘em down for this stuff, but not so much for claude… and we want more! and we is a growing “we” — we have, since claudia came, become close friends with one family with a black daughter just her age, and are newer friends with another family who have a new baby boy. we ALL want more than we are able to find. i’m not saying we are totally shut out, but the disparity between our korean activities/contacts/touchpoints and african-american activities/contacts/touchpoints seems to be widening, and i’m not going to let that happen.

does anyone know of any mentoring organizations for black american, or african, adoptees in the US?

are you, or do you know, more african-american or black adoptive families in the philly area who want to get together for cultural events, eating out — the things we do within the korean-american community?

are you an african-american person who is comfortable with questions like “what’s the difference between the way black people and white people make potato salad?”

do you have books, tv programs, movies, to recommend us, either for our viewing or claudia’s?

please let us know! we understand, as generations of adoptive parents before us did not seem to understand, that béla’s identity as a korean absolutely requires nurturing and contact. the same is true for claudia. sometimes there’s a little awkwardness, but i think we probably all feel close to the same thing when we think about kids and what they deserve. please pass this post on to someone you know whom you think will benefit from it. use my flickrmail account to contact us. we want to hear from you!

and, for national adoption month, and for adoptive parents everywhere who will never rest on their laurels thinking they “get it”, but do their best, – our love!

A Dose of Reality - Shannon Tavarez Loses Battle

While the country waited to see whether or not spending millions of dollars secures you an admission pass into the world of politics (sorry Meg). Or perhaps it was time to demonstrate how voting out of frustration, fear, and/or intolerance is the way to go.

We're mad at you so we're not voting for you this time! And vice versa for the next time!! Hasty, emotionally charged decisions are always best, right?

Then there's that ailment that millions of Americans suffer from known as how soon we fucking forget syndrome...the GOP minus the Tea Party is the very reason this country is in the shape it's in!

But I digress.

I just read a heart breaking article about Shannon Tavarez, the 11-year-old Broadway star who lost her fight with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). Tavarez played young Nala in The Lion King from 2009 until she was diagnosed with cancer in April. Alicia Keys and Rihanna appeared in campaigns to help Tavarez find a bone marrow donor.

Shannon was an only child and a mixed race child. According to most statistics, those two factors narrowed Shannon's chances of finding a suitable bone marrow match down to slim and most likely none.

I didn't hear anything about the search for a match for this child until I read about her death tonight. There are several bone marrow and stem cell donor registries in the United States, the largest of which is the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) which lists more than 6.2 million donors. Although the NMDPs Registry has a diverse pool of donors, whites are by far the largest group, represented by more than 3.1 million donors.

Blacks comprise about 12% of the list of donors and those of mixed races, even less than that.

To think there was someone out there who perhaps could have been this child's saving grace pulls at my heart string in the worst way.

To know our country voted in quite a few assholes that think stem cell research, a woman's right to govern her own body and loving someone of the same gender is wrong and unethical MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!

Find a bone marrow and stem cell donor registry and get tested. Let's do what we can to make sure no other bright stars are extinguished far too soon.

Progress on the Natural State of Things #3

Since the beginning of my journey I've tried to keep all those interested in how things have been going.

I've had so much fun discovering things about myself and my hair that I would have never known had I not made the decision to go natural.

Just wanted to share a few of my more recent pics detailing my progress. I'm much too absorbed in my own personal struggles right now to share anything truly substantive about culture, politics or anything and or anybody else. Hopefully, I'll snap out of this fog soon and be chomping at the bit about something far more meaningful.

Until then....enjoy the hair show!! (make sure to click on the links to get the whole picture)

The beginning!!