A REAL WOMAN

I had a discussion with a young lady about what a "real woman" is. She was endorsing her belief that a real woman was one that has children and takes care of them. I agreed with her in part, but according to her logic, an infertile woman could not be a real woman. I'm not sure if she had kids or not, but she definitely was not my idea of a real woman.

After surveying the women I know, I thought of one person that definitely fit the bill.....That person is my mother. She passed away in 1999. She was the rock of the family and usually the voice of reason. After her passing, guess who had to try to fill her shoes; That's right, yours truly. It was then that I realized the role of real women.

My parents separated when I was a small child. I have vague memories of my dad visiting us, but I don't ever remember him living in the house. I never wondered why he wasn't around. I just accepted the situation as normal....It was all I knew. When I was about 11 years old, the details of my parents separation started to be revealed.

My mom gave birth to four kids (that will be important later). Those of you who have read some of my earlier posts know that I have 13 sisters. Now you're starting to see why my parents were no longer together. My dad actually fathered a total of 17 children, by 9 different women!! Some were conceived before my parents met. Some were conceived after their separation and divorce. There were a few that are products of my dad's infidelity.

Now to get back to my original topic of what a real woman is. My mom eventually got to know all my dad's kids. If they came to visit us, she would feed them and make sure they had a place to sleep. On several occasions, I witnessed her sleeping on the couch so that the smaller kids could sleep together in her bed. She treated them just like she treated us. She showed them the same love she showed us. Even though she couldn't stand my dad, there was nothing she wouldn't do for his kids. She would always tell us. "I don't care how they got here. They're still your brothers and sisters".

I think back to her funeral and I see the effects that a real woman can have on the lives of others; Sitting on the front row with her four kids and other immediate family, were the rest of my dad's children! That spoke volumes about the kind of person my mother was. So what is my definition of a real woman? I think I just described her.