The Tender Years

We have control over the choices we make in life; not the consequences

As a dysfunctional adult from a single parent home, one of my greatest accomplishments was marrying the man who would one day be a father to my children. Things were working out quite well until the father and I stopped loving each other.

Oh, I'll always love him in spite of but the love that a man and woman share as a couple, as a unit, as one, left long ago.

Once the dust settled all that was left were two handsome boys. smile The oldest has graduated high school, joined the military to pay for college and seems to be adjusting well as a brand new adult in society.

The youngest didn't get off so easy. He's 9 years old and caught in the middle of a marriage gone wrong.

I thought long and hard about seeking sole custody of my son and sometimes wish I had gone through with it. But the little girl in me who never knew a father's love, never felt the safety of his arms, never had the pleasure of him making one of my dates break out in a cold sweat wouldn't allow me to do that to my child.

So, we both agreed on joint custody. Now my child is shuttled between two homes - regrouping, readjusting, relearning...every other week. It's not the most ideal situation. Sometimes I think it'll wind up doing more harm than good and during those times of doubt, I pray.

I pray that a broken marriage won't break his spirit. I pray that our failure won't impede his pursuit of a lasting relationship. I pray he understands that even though our love didn't last, our love for him is and always will be unwavering. I pray that in the midst of the most chaotic period in my life, he has an inner peace that can't be shaken.

I pray I've done the best as his mother that I could do without losing myself.

I pray for my son.