Have you ever been so desperate to change something that's been a proverbial "thorn in your side" that you were willing to do almost anything - even the unimaginable?Well that's exactly were I was about 10 years ago.
I was working in the ER at a local hospital. It was an unusually slow day...you know the one's were the girls can sit around and chit chat about the secret things that all females sit around and chit chat about...details forbidden since I suppose a few men may check out this post.
As I got up to go for my 4th cup of coffee, I did what almost every member of the human species has done at one time of another....I adjusted my panties. Can't explain it but for some reason that left butt cheek just can't seem to understand that it's supposed to stay within the confines of the device invited to hold everything together....so, there I was digging for gold.
One of my coworkers blurted out "I never have that problem. I started wearing thongs a few years ago. The best thing I ever did".
Now mind you this chick is about 5'4 and weighs atleast 215lbs. My initial reaction was how in the hell do you find it once you get undressed. But I am civilized so instead I said "I don't think it would be very comfortable. I'm already doing the panty adjusting thing at least every 2 hours. I can't imagine a constant wedge right up the center of my rump!"
She went on to say how you don't even feel them....I'm sure she didn't!
Not wanting to be out done by a big girl, I decided to invest in a few pair. Once I did it was like...wow, no panty line...no tugging...but damn....I can't shake the feeling that something's stuck in the crack of my (expletive)!
I didn't completely give up on the idea. I wore thongs on special occasions....events that required the little black dress to fit just so....when I felt like being sexy at home...you know the usual.
Good ole hubby liked 'em too. It was the strangest thing. Whenever I wore a thong around him he always wanted me to crawl across the bed like a little kitten....you know up on all four...slinking around like a porn star reject! It was totally embarrassing. So, instead I would just dive under the covers as usual and demand he turn the light off...what can I say...I'm modest!
Well fast forward to yesterday. Cosmopolitan published an article proclaiming The Thong is DEAD! Oh, I can hear millions of men groaning everywhere and gazillions of women breathing a sigh of relief.
Apparently the atrocious sight of butt cracks covered with a string the size of a spaghetti noodle isn't as sexy as one might think. And I completely understand.
The thong was designed to ensure NVPL...that's No Visible Panty Line. It was meant to be inconspicuous and totally untraceable. But with the rise in popularity of the low rise jeans...the two just weren't working out.
If you've never worn a thong but are now totally interested in trying one out, Google has a few predefined topics that may help you make the right decision.
