January 26, 2010

Open Letter to prospective emergency room patient

Dear ER patient that's wasting my time on the phone,

I understand that somewhere down the line you were misinformed about what a true emergency is. And since you DON'T know what a true emergency is, I can only imagine that the uncontrollable itch your female parts has been afflicted with is absolutely terrifying for you.

However, considering the fact that I have one patient puking up his toenails in Exam room 6, some guy trying his best to have a heart attack in Exam room 10, a 13 year old who doesn't know whether she's pregnant or not (WTF!!!) in Exam room 2 and a psychotic patient running loose in the emergency room while every male member of the staff tries to catch him....I don't have time to make it better for you over the phone.

You lost my interest and concern when you asked how busy we were....like your emergency has a schedule it needs to keep.

I'll let you in on a little secret since I pledged to be devoted to the welfare of those committed to my care.....if you have time to call an emergency room to see how busy we are before you come....WE'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE BUSY!!!

Just one of the many tricks of the trade you learn along the way...

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