Mail Order Bride! Pssst....Don't tell him but after I received his pic in the mail I couldn't leave the Congo! Umbula, the great warrior with the husky feet, 6 teeth and 24 wives is looking better and better....
Missing from Hogwarts! I'm a rogue wizard looking to work some black magic on a couple of muggles I've been having a few issues with....where's my darn broom??
God....if you just spare my teeth I promise I'll never fall asleep in church, park in the handicap spot, steal napkins from the diner, pour extra dishwashing liquid in the bottle I'm planning to buy, silently fart in the meat section at the grocery store, or spray expensive parfum on the clothes I just purchased before I leave the store...Oh God...by the way...I've never done any of those things...and if you have mercy on my teeth, I NEVER WILL!
Groovy!!! How much did they say they were gonna pay me? If I don't sit down soon, I'll need another hip replacement! Damn! I think it just cracked! Screw YOU Osteoporosis!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks PerfectMomentProject for the tip about this site!!
