The ambulance crew is en route with a patient with a complaint of severe stomach pain.On arrival, we realize it's one of our regulars. He called the ambulance from home. Once they arrived at his house this is the conversation that followed:
Patient: Hey man, I need a Prilosec for my stomach
Paramedic: Then you should buy some and keep 'em here at home
Patient: Ain't got no money. Loan me a couple of bucks to get some.
Paramedic: I don't have any money either.
Patient: Well take me to the Emergency Room.
Once the patient arrives and is treated by the doctor he questions the staff about one of the employees. He wants to know if she's working tonight. Of course, we'd never give this information (especially to him). So, Mr. Smartass calls the hospital operator from his cell phone (while he's still in his room) and ask to speak to the nurse.
Operator transfers the call to ICU where the nurse is on duty.
Nurse: ICU this is Nancy Nurse RN
Patient: Hey Nancy Nurse RN. This is Mr. Smartass. Look...I called the ambulance to bring me up here. I'm gonna hang out in the ER until you get off. Can you give me a ride to ----------- when you get off in the morning? I've got some business to take care of.
Nurse: No, I'm not going to be able to do that. Sorry.
The patient was discharged home. Isn't it wonderful to know how efficiently your tax dollars are being spent?
