Hi guys. I'm sure it will take most of my old pals a while to find me. But make no mistake...I'm B-A-C-K!!! The last time I actively participated in the blogosphere I blogged from my first creation "Sagacious Rambling". Then out of nowhere, my life was turned upside down...inside out...and I was caught in one of the most tumultous periods I've experienced in my 39 years.My husband of the past 16 years filed for divorce. Don't get me wrong...I knew it was coming (even prayed it would happen). We had been going in separate directions for the past 3 years. But why didn't someone tell me how the beautiful thing we cherish called love could turn into the most venomous hatred one has ever felt?
I wasn't angry with him. In spite of his physical abuse, infidelity and alcoholism...I still loved him. I loved him as a person and as the father of our two sons. But he certainly hasn't returned the favor. The man hates me. It's almost comical the lengths he goes through to make my life miserable and he almost broke me.
If it hadn't been for great real life friends, common sense, and my own resolve...I'm not sure where I'd be. But to know me...is to love me. I'm not easily broken. So, all his anger and hostility is only hurting him.
I know what it's like to feel your blood pressure reach it's boiling point, your temples begin to throb, your heart beat as if it's about to jump out of your chest. I know because I experienced all these things every time I heard his voice or saw his face. But I quickly realized...it was only hurting me. So, I did something anyone going through what I've been through MUST do....LET IT GO.
It has saved my life. Whether he'll ever reach that level of maturity in our new "relationship"...I don't know. But I sure as hell will keep you guys posted.
Thanks to all who looked for me, thought of me, prayed for me...I love you all.
